Saturday, March 2, 2013
My blower sparked, but Dolly-girl wasn't there to tell me to pick it up. Thelma neither. "Hello, D'Mestiere Invstigations, Eastern Oregon Operations, whatsit?"
® i-of-Steven, a Holy-owned subsidiary of It's Burning Hot Down Here, Inc., which, in turn, is owned by iSaint Steven Enterprises), a specially designed data recorder, not unlike those used on whales..." "Whoan" "...that when out of touch for 3 months, dissolves its way through blubber, floats to the surface, and transmits its data to a waiting satellite in the Boleyn Star Cluster. In your case, the recorder dissolved its way through LARD rather than blubber, but the idea is the same." "Whoan..."
"The iofSS burrowed its way though an estimated extra 10 pounds of LARD! today and reached the uplink. Preliminary analysis of the data show a particular propensity for Firestone Walker Union Jack..." "It's been on sale at Safeway..." "and apparently you've been their best customer. I continue. There's also the matter of Blue Diamond Smokehouse Almonds..." "Which I wash down with Diet Coke..." "when you are driving. Apparently you don't believe anything has calories when you are driving. WRONG, Jackie-boy!" "Whoan."
"OK, Professor. It's not like I don't beat myself up every morning when I get on the scale. It's just that..." "Whoan." "Professor, you said, 'Whoan?'" "I did, Jackie-boy. If you only knew how many 2-Steppers back slid. Well, I suppose you could if you read my new book, "Sliding to Slovenliness: When 2-Steppers Reject Professor Javier Boleyn." "Whoan." "Wail."