Monday, September 19, 2011

A Conversation: Professor Javier Boleyn and Fiora D'Mestiere

The blower sparked. Dolly-girl looked at the gadget and yelled, "Jackie-boy, it's for you. Professor Javier Boleyn on line 1." "Joseph, Mary, Kitty Carlisle and all the saints in heaven, Dolly-girl, just answer it, will you? I'm scooping cat boxes down here. You know how he hates the machine." "Yallow, D'Mestiere Investigations. What's it?"

"Fiora, dear, that patois does not fit your visage." "Oh. Hello, Professor." "You blink and blush, dear. Remember, you are clearly visible to me on the Sky-cam (® Boleyn Enterprises). I digress." "Professor, Jack's indisposed. Can I have him call you back?" "Fiora, it's you with whom I wish to speak. You see, I've written another book. Well, I use the word loosely. I have dictated a book to my new assistant, Randall Tuphts. I'm afraid it's not up to my usual standards, but then I did dictate it during intermission at the ballet. I believe it could use your magical editorial touch. Of course, Boleyn Enterprises pays handsomely, providing you think there was something remotely handsome about Quasimodo (All references to anything having to do with Notre Dame de Paris ® Benedict XVI and Steve Jobs)."

"I'm honored. What's your timeline? How about a month?"
"Well, seeing as how I 'wrote' it during intermission, I was hoping to go to press tomorrow. After all, how long could it take to edit Grande Jeté Your Lard Away the 2-Step Way by Professor Javier Boleyn, as told to Randall Tuphts and edited by Fiora D'Mestiere"

"On it, Prof."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My personal assistant, Margene Huffman, will make sure I am ON IT ASAP.