Dispatch from Bávaro, La Altagracia, Dominican Republic: Accomplishing a goal

Jack: Well, Dolly-girl, I accomplished a goal today. Get to do a cross-off on the old Too Do list!

Fiora: That's To Do, Jack, not Too Do. Read that book I gave you, will you?

Jack: Hmmm, I thought it was Too Do 'cause it's a list of what I want to do too...

Fiora: Whatever. What goal did you achieve, Jack?

Jack: I went to a swim-up bar!

Fiora: That's what I like about you, Jack, always setting your goals near the heavens...

Jack: Well, it was a stretch goal--I had to stretch to reach the drink on the bar!

Fiora [thru the wave]: Ai-yi-yi, Jack!

Dispatch from the Majestic Colonial: The Bus to Colonial Times?

Jack: Dolly-girl, will you look at that! We're not gumshoeing around Stumptown now! I gotta get my fancy pants on!

Fiora: Jack, it's supposed to represent the decor of Colonial times when the Spanish ruled the Main and the Dominican Republic was a regular stop on the trade routes!

Jack: I bet they didn't have their towels folded like that with flower petals and everything!

Fiora: I bet they didn't, Jack and don't let that heart shaped towel next to a jacuzzi give you any ideas!

Jack: What ideas would those be, Fiora? Hey, I don't deserve a full broadside through the wave!

Fiora: it's going to be a long five days...

Dispatch from Port-au-Prince: A night on the town

Fiora: Jack, vous et moi marcher dans la rue du Quartier Latin pour le diner

Jack: [May have to negotiate here...] I was thinkin' we should walk down the street and check out that Latin Quarter restaurant people been tellin' us about...

Fiora: First of all, quit dropping your gees. You sound like a Wasilla wannabe and second, have you gone deaf? I just said we should walk down the street and go to the Quartier Latin for diner.

Jack: Dang, I knew you were parlezing something mais il a été un long temps depuis que je suis français...

Jack: Je pense que chaque personne blanche en Haïti est ici ce soir!

Dispatch from Port-au-Prince: What a colorful place!

Fiora: "Jack, look at the colors on all the buses! And the buildings! What a difference we are seeing between two cultures that share the same island!"

Jack: "That doesn't look too safe to me...even though we are stuck in traffic and everything is standing still."

Samuel: This is Haiti--there's still room on that bus! Next to the guy sleeping on the top! Don't worry, I will get you there safely!"

And he did, moving through the flow of trucks, buses, cars, motorbikes, and pedestrians like a world class kayaker in a difficult reach. There's too much to write about the first two days in Haiti for a phone keypad. More later...

Jack: "This same SUV could never fit through this space in Stumptown!"

Fiora: "That's why Samuel is driving and you aren't, Jack...among other reasons."

Jack: "What's that Dolly-girl? I can't hear you for all the horns!"

Fiora: "Nothing, Jack."

Dispatch from Santo Domingo: Destination Haiti

Fiora: Bien, Jack, nous sommes prêts à aller! Bagagerie emballé, billets en main, destination de Port-au-Prince! Excusez-moi de ne pas parler Creole.

Jack: I love it when you use one of your foreign tongues, Dolly-girl. It makes me feel like I'm in a different country!

Fiora: We ARE in a different country, Jack! Where have YOU been the last week?

Jack: Is that why people been giving me strange looks?

Fiora: No, that's pretty normal, but be glad they can't understand you--if they could there'd be a lot of ai-yi-yi going on... Now, quit your jabbering, I'm trying to learn some helpful Creole phrases. Se sa a jarèt nan an Ayiti?

Jack: Ah, you're asking where to get a cold beer...

Fiora: Ai-yi-yi...

Dispatch from El Beaterio

"A beaterio, Jack, is a place where pious women lived." "Well, what are we doing here?" "We? I don't know, Jack. You aren't a woman. I, however, am dutiful, and after being married to you for this long, at least a bit saintly!"

"Well, it sure is a nice place to, what do the Spanish say, tomar un café en el jardín..."

"Knock it off with the Google Spanish, Jack. Nothing good will come of it."

Dispatch from Santo Domingo: Step Back 486 years

Me and Dolly-girl are doing a little sleuthing around Hispaniola while we're waiting for a nephew and his gal to say those ever mores on the beach. First stop was to check out one of them everything-you-see-is-yours places. Today I miscalculated just how long it might take us to get to the autobus station so I turned a 3 hour trip into 5 hours, including 2 hours in the bus station. "Good to get here early, heyna or no?" That got me a shot through the wave and a pretty snide, "Ididint."

But we're here. When I asked Fiora if she minded an older hotel, I didn't quite mention that construction started while the Columbus boys were still in town...