Sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do. July 5, 1937. SPAM hit the shelves. What the hell is SPAM? A delicious and nutritious blend of pork, potato starch, salt and preservatives. If you opened a can packed in 1937 today, it would still be full of wholesome goodness.
So, just about the time the noon whistle would blow if you were working in Austin, Minnesota in 1937, or maybe today and certainly in Berea, Ohio in the 50s, I took shank's mare out for a spin to the Safeway. I found the canned meat section--it has an overhead sign directing you. There were a lot of choices. Bacon. Hickory. Low Sodium (why bother?). SPAM Classic. That's for me.
Back in my office, I popped it open. No more key stuck to the bottom of the can. No more tab to hook the key on. No more winding the metal seal around the key. Just a quick snap, pop, and the aroma fills the room. As always, SPAM is easily manipulated. You can slice it, dice it, or carve it into the Venus de Milo.
But the best thing to do is chunk it up and enjow it. Just SPAM. No bread. No cheese. No mustard. No nothing. Just SPAM out of the can.
Then wash it down with a Pliny the Elder. I know, it says Fat Tire on the glass, but believe me, it wasn't...
Happy Birthday SPAM. Unfortunately for those of us who enjoy you, the odds of seeing 100 decrease with every bite of you we take!
2 comments:
Dang, the key and unwinding was the best part!
Just the thought of this faux meat product makes me want to emulate the Eugene anarchists and projectile vomit.
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