Lard Have Mercy: A Match Made in Heaven!

B-zzzzz, Bzzz, Bzzz. "Dolly-girl, someone's at the door and I'm right in the middle of a Rex Parker that's vexing me no end. Could you get the door?" "OK, but since when did you, Jack D'Mestiere, start using words like 'vexing'? Oh, that's right, you are channeling Rex right now. You'll be back to 'tying my bean up tighter than a steer on branding day' in no time..." "I'll tell you, a guy just can't win. Hmmm, 9 letter word for 'perplexed', starts with B-E-F..."






"Jack, it was the postman. He brought you a package. It's from Dania Inebriata-Beech!" "I thought she was down singing Swanee River with her sister. I know she was because Cuco was calling me on your pocket blower telling me he was pining for her while he was trying to keep Bambi out of his orchard. I suggested..." "You didn't tell him to put Bambi on the hot lead express, did you?" "You bet I did. I was down at the watering hole at the time. Told him I'd lend him my heater to do it. Or, I know some guys..." "Go back to the puzzle, Jack. Quit befuddling me." "That's it! Thanks, Dolly-girl!" "Honestly, Jack. If you could see yourself through other's eyes. I mean, sitting in a public place talking about putting Bambi on the HLE could get you in trouble in some parts of Stumptown." "Yeah, but not ours..."



"Enough already. What's in the package? I"m dying to see. I love packages. Why wasn't it for me? I want a package..." "Quit your yammering, Dolly-girl, this is one christmas-morning that was meant for me if there ever was one!" 'Lard Have Mercy'  That's great! Must be a joint Dania found while she was beating her feet on the Mississippi mud." 


I think I earned this one. And, I bet it's got the Professor Javier Boleyn Squeal of DisApproval (© Boleyn Enterpries), which makes it top-notch in every other book!