Saturday, August 7, 2010

Waddling Towards Fitness: Update, August 7, 2010

Pictured to the left is a 25 pound pail of LARD. Half of the total amount of LARD that I'm committed to lose as I Waddle Towards Fitness. According to a supposedly trustworthy site on the interwebs, LARD has a density of 0.772 g per ml which converts to 6.42 pounds per gallon. That makes that about a 4 gallon pail. So I need to lose 8 gallons of LARD off my LARD-ASS body.

So far, I'm happy to report, since Sunday last, I've lost 6.8 pints of LARD--that's about 0.85 gallons.

It's not easy. LARD is all around me. Ooo, that's close to the Troggs' song that Bill Nighy parodied in Love Actually, one of my favorite sappy romantic comedies.
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
The LARD that's all around me
And so the waistline grows

It's hanging all around me
It's everywhere I look
So if you want cardiac fitness
Find something lean to cook...

However, I will triumph over LARD, even as it tempts and attacks me. And a pail of Armour LARD and Bill Nighy are going to be my talismans!

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